


A Guide for the Lost

by Lokaal



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Pre-Games, Slavery, in game style violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-05-07 14:36:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19211449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokaal/pseuds/Lokaal
Summary: After her team is killed on Akuze, Shepard is captured by Batarian slavers. When a strange Drell offers her a chance at freedom, she can't say no.





	1. The Offer of Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my sister OrangeTabby for proof-reading! There will be more to come.

Akuze was a harsh planet. It was harsher than most wanted for colonies; Shepard remembers her team not being surprised when the colony goes silent and they are sent to investigate. 

She has blurry memories of the attack. Immense gaping jaws and long, deadly tentacles. The Thresher Maw made short work of her unit. Sometimes she wondered how she survived their vehicle being flipped. Her belt kept her strapped securely to the chair and she hung sideways. She recalled watching the lead vehicle crushed by the Thresher, mechanical parts flying outwards from the impact. At some point when her vehicle was thrown again, she hit her head; blood matted her hair. She watched her commander climb from the vehicle, gun at the ready. He was swept away by a tentacle, screaming. 

Shepard did not leave the vehicle until she heard nothing. Not the grinding of scales against sand and rock, not the cries of people. Only when it was silent did she leave her relative safety and kneel among the wreckage to weep. 

Once she established no others had survived, she had begun formulating a plan. None of the vehicles were operable, or at least she had not get any into a position to be driven. She took food and water from the wreckage. There were long range communicators in the case of an emergency. ‘Long range’ weren’t as impressive as they sounded; the signal wouldn’t go beyond this system without deteriorating to the point of being static. Her small S.O.S. would be better than nothing. 

She didn’t know at the time that there were more than just Alliance ships within listening range. 

Shouldering a pack of food and other necessities, she began walking back to the drop off zone in the hopes someone would pick her up at their scheduled time. She did not reach the zone before someone else came to greet her. 

When this happened, it has been around fifteen Earth hours; she was exhausted, physically and emotionally. When the Batarian shuttle landed before her, she tried to run. She did not get far before they had her. 

***

The passage of time on the Batarian ship was an unknown to her. She did not know how long she was kept in that cage. It was barely five feet by three feet. It stank; the other prisoners, all with their heads down and faces in shadow, sat in their own filth. Shepard kept her head up, staring defiantly at her captors whenever they delivered food. It did little good, save steeling her resolve. 

She did not get the chance to escape before they docked. This was the third time they docked since she had been on board. Each other time a certain number of prisoners were taken away. She was the only one to be taken that day. 

The station was cold. Its walls were the colour of rust and its lights luminescent yellow strips. Three Batarians, all armed and armoured, walked her through multiple hallways. When they came out into an opening, there was still little of note. Steps lead to different open doorways, including shops and merchant stands. A Turian woman, in the centre of this opening, waited for the Batarians. Shepard watched the different people wandering through the area; they were mostly Batarians, Vorcha and Krogan, with the occasional Asari and Turian. She believed she saw one Quarian, though was not certain. 

“Here, one human,” one of the Batarians from the ship said, pushing at Shepard’s shoulder. “Alliance, too. You better pay well; the Alliance types are extra.” 

“I’ll pay what I promised,” the Turian woman said, her arms crossed. She cocked her head at Shepard and stepped forward. “I appreciate your trade.” 

They exchanged credits, and Shepard was given over to the Turian. She soon discovered the Turian’s name was Aricus Lavinos, owner of a bar-brothel hybrid. Aricus did not tell Shepard this. All Aricus told Shepard was that, in no uncertain terms, Shepard was going to do whatever Aricus wanted. This would include fixing broken mechanical systems, cleaning, healing any wounds on her workers, and using her military training to protect the establishment. Shepard ended up mostly doing the former. She was surprised she did not have to become one of the dancers or sex-workers; Aricus simply said there was no want for a human to fill those positions. And she did not trust ex-Alliance personnel not to rebel against her. Being called ex-Alliance stung. 

There was another mechanic in Aricus’ service, a Volus by the name of Arren Tor. He was skittish, fidgety and talkative. Through him, Shepard discovered the Turian’s name and where they currently were. They were located at the heart of the Terminus Systems, on a space station known as The Emancipation. Shepard hadn’t heard of the station before. Arren Tor said it was only about ten years old, and already a thriving hub of slavers, smugglers, murders and thieves. Shepard wondered whether she would ever be able to find her way back to Alliance space. 

*** 

It had been 32 days since the Batarian slavers sold Shepard to Aricus. In that time, Shepard had made little progress toward freedom. Aricus had her fitted with a thick, black bracelet which would alert security should she leave the premises. She had no idea where anything was on the station; she had not left the confines of the brothel since she arrived. 

She saw Arren Tor most days, though spoke little. He did enough talk for the two of them. He would chatter on about his life before being captured. Apparently, he was something of an inventor, and missed his old life. An inventor could have been of use to Shepard, but she didn’t believe she could trust him to keep his mouth shut. He didn’t know about the small stash of credits she had hidden away; she had been taking little and only when she wouldn’t be caught. It was a sad attempt at storing up enough to purchase her way off The Emancipation. At this rate she would be there for decades. 

Today, she and Arren Tor were fixing the brothel’s heating system. The system was required on such a desolately cold station, and despite the newness of the station, this heater was run down and old. Shepard had enough knowledge and Alliance training to fix basic systems like this, especially with help from Arren Tor. While she had studied as a biologist before being accepted into the Alliance, machinery and mechanics were not lost on her. 

To her surprise, Arren Tor wanted to talk about something other than himself today. “When your Alliance comes to rescue you,” he said, his voice wheezing through his breather, “Do you think they could rescue me as well? I could offer them a reward. My uncle is very wealthy, you know.” 

“I’ve told you,” she said, shining the flashlight into the dark crevasses of the heater’s inner casings. “No one is coming to rescue me.”

“That’s a sad way to leave their fellow officer. What are you, a captain? A commander?” 

“A lieutenant,” she corrected him. She was shivering as she spoke, desperate to have the heater working again. “And they will assume I died back on Akuze with my team. It’s an arid, sandy planet; they won’t find any tracks leading away from the site of the attack, the wind will have blown them away. Any Alliance personnel who visit the site will think I perished with the others, probably eaten by a Thresher Maw.”

Shepard tried not to think about that day. She felt like here, stuck on a station with no foreseeable escape route, she had not been able to properly grieve. 

Arren Tor was rummaging through the box of tools situated behind her. “Hideous things, Threshers,” he agreed, outraged by the mere mention of them. “Should all be burned, I say! Burned!” 

While she privately agreed with him, she chose not to reply. 

They worked for another five minutes or so. They had nearly repaired the heater – multiple parts needed replaced and others simply needed cleaned – when footsteps interrupted them. Shepard and Arren Tor exchanged a glance, even though she could not see through his suit. He shrugged, and Shepard got to her feet, hands covered in dirt and muck. 

One of Aricus’ Krogan guards was climbing the ladder to reach them. They were located at the very back of the heater and stood on a small ledge between it and the wall. Once he was with them, he looked between them and the heater. “Aricus wants everyone downstairs, now!”

Arren Tor was hiding behind Shepard’s legs, one of his hands on the back of her knee. Shepard frowned, and gestured to the heater as she spoke, “We’re nearly finished repairing–”

“Do your ears not work, little Alliance girl?” The Krogan snarled, pulling out the shotgun which had been strapped to his back. “I said now!” 

Putting her hands up, Shepard nodded. The Krogan made his way back down the ladder, with Shepard and Arren Tor following closely behind. They were led into the main chamber of the brothel. It was too early for the brothel to open yet, so the room was void of patrons. There were booths and tables all around the outside of the circular room, with a bar located at the back, opposite to the main entrance. In the center of the room was a circular platform, with benches and poles. There were four doorways leading from this room into hallways, each with different signs above saying different things. One indicated a bathroom, another an entrance for staff only – which was the door the Krogan led Shepard and Arren Tor out of. The third and fourth doors indicated private rooms, whether that was for private dances or bedrooms for sex. The entire room smelled of strong perfume, liquor and sweat. 

All Aricus’ other workers were lined up against the bar, with Aricus’ Krogan and Vorcha security guards scattered nearby. There were fifteen Asari in total, with two female Quarians, one female Turian, two male Turians, three Batarians and one Vorcha, all of unknowable gender. They all looked somewhat confused, with Aricus herself standing a few meters away. She held a pistol casually at her side. 

Shepard and Arren Tor were guided to stand near the bar, but not quite as close to Aricus as the dancers. 

“Now that everyone is here,” Aricus said, her demeanor cold and calm. She slowly paced back and forth in front of her workers, gaze sliding over all of them. “Let’s begin. I’ve recently been made aware that our credit balance is off. My theory is that someone, one of you lovely boys and girls, has been taking money that doesn’t belong to them. My security team has already been cleared; I’m confident it wasn’t one of them. So, is anyone willing to confess? Or rat someone else out.” 

Shepard’s blood was pounding in her ears. It took all her will to keep a neutral face, lest she give herself away. She had no doubt what would happen to her if Aricus discovered it was her. 

The air in the room was tense. Everyone was trying not to look at Aricus while also not seeming suspicious. Heads were bowed, and uncertain glances were shared. Arren Tor was breathing louder than usual. 

An Asari stepped forward. “I know who it was, Aricus.” 

“Oh?” Said the imposing Turian woman as she cocked her head. “And who would that be?”

The Asari pointed to one of the other Asari, and said accusingly, “It was Darina! I saw her hiding some chits in her little stash!” 

“How could you?” The other Asari, Darina apparently, exclaimed in horror. She was shaking her head and trembling all over. “Please, Aricus, I can explain–”

“You can explain?” Aricus interjected, subharmonics ringing in anger. She stepped toward Darina, who fell to her knees in defeat. Aricus held her pistol to the weeping Asari’s head. “Can you really explain stealing from me? The thing is, I don’t forgive people.” 

Shepard closed her eyes and turned her head away. The shot rang out, echoing for a sickening moment. She heard a dull thump and the horrified gasps of the dancers and workers clustered around. 

“Let that be a lesson,” Aricus said, tone reverting to its eerie calm. “Now, it’s fucking cold in here. You two, go fix that heater. You all standing around the body, clean it up. Can’t have that around our guests, can we?” 

Shepard and Arren Tor were on their feet quickly, immediately heading for the door. Shepard felt a sick kind of relief that the Asari’s fate had not been hers. She decided to stop taking any money, at least while tensions were so high. 

After the heater was fixed and the brothel opened for business, Shepard was given odd jobs for the rest of the day. This included doing dishes, restocking bar fridges, occasionally even serving drinks to customers. Arren Tor had been taken elsewhere, and she didn’t see him all afternoon. In the evening, Shepard was taken to one of the rooms reserved for customers. Two Turian guards, not belonging to Aricus, stood outside the door. 

Each of the rooms had an antechamber, with multiple chairs, couches and a table in the center. The table had a metal drinks area, sort of like a sink; it was designed to keep drinks the temperature the guests wanted, with a temperature control pad to one side. As Shepard and the Krogan who escorted her entered the antechamber, they could hear noises from the bedroom beyond. They included moans, giggling and occasional exclamations. The Krogan chuckled while Shepard made a face of disgust. 

“Fix the temp controller,” said the Krogan, attempting to keep his deep voice down. “Our guest broke it, so you need to fix it before he wants to use it again. Knock when you’re done, and those Turians will let you out. The door’s locked until then.” 

Shepard nodded, immediately getting to work. The Krogan left, and the antechamber’s door was closed behind him. She was alone with the disgustingly erotic noises emanating from the other door. She ignored them best she could as she got underneath the table. She removed the panel blocking her access to the wires and began to tinker. 

There was a noise, like metal quietly shifting against metal. It was not muffled by either door; it was inside the small antechamber with her. She nearly hit her head on the edge of the table as she shot out from underneath, rolling up onto her feet. 

A figure stood between her and the bedroom door. He was tall, clad in greys and blacks. His reactions were quick; a pistol was immediately out and aimed in her direction. Seemingly just as surprised as she was, he examined her for a long moment. She noticed one of the ceiling vents to her left was hanging open. 

“You’re a Drell,” Shepard said bluntly, unsure of what was happening. She held her hands up, showing him that all she held was a screwdriver. 

His head titled to one side, large, impossibly dark eyes examining her. He spoke in the same hushed tone she did, “And you are a human. According to the station’s logs, there are no humans on board.” 

“I haven’t seen any other humans, and I doubt they’d enter the presence of a slave into any sort of database.” 

The Drell had not lowered his gun, though his posture was calm. “Human slaves are not common.” 

“Yeah, well, apparently it happens.” She made a decision then. People on board this station were a shot first, ask questions later type people. He had not shot her, nor did he have the same sort of harsh feeling they had. It was difficult to form feelings into tangible words, but she was not under the impression he was going to hurt her. “I’m Lieutenant Shepard, of the Alliance Navy,” she said, lowering her hands. “I don’t belong here.” 

“I see that,” he replied, holstering his pistol. He seemed calm, yet she did not believe for a moment he had lowered his guard. They seemed to have reached an understanding, but he had a gun and she did not. “I advise, Lieutenant Shepard, that you stay out of my way,” said the Drell. 

“What are you going to do?” She asked softly, stepping around the table. “Why are you here?” 

“I have been contracted to kill the Turian on the other side of this door,” he stated matter-of-factly. It was almost comical overtop the sounds of moaning from the other room. “I do not break contracts.” 

“You’re an assassin,” she breathed the words. “I don’t think I can ethically let you do that.” 

The Drell seemed unphased by her statement, “What if you knew what this man did?” 

“Are you in the habit of researching your targets?” 

“I am not. I simply know him out of infamy. He is a butcher, a crude hunter who likes to immobilize his prey before disemboweling alive. A man such as he earns the target on his head.” 

Shepard frowned deeply, considering his words. “A man like that doesn’t deserve kindness. But who are you to be judge, jury and executioner?” 

“I am only the latter. My body is a tool for others to kill with. I have no personal qualms with this man, but his fate has been sealed by those who paid me.” 

She stepped between the Drell and the door. The moaning became louder for a moment before stopping. “There are two guards outside the other doors,” she hissed, even quieter now the sounds stopped. “If I scream, they will come running.” 

The Drell regarded her carefully. “You do not belong. You are desperate to leave.” 

She nodded, her throat tightening for a moment. She held her hand up, showing him the thick bracelet on her wrist. “I cannot continue to be owned.” 

The Drell gave her a deep nod. He set a hand on her shoulder, making her twitch somewhat. He gently guided her away from the door, yet there was strength in his hand that she had not anticipated. “Let me do what I was sent to do,” he said, a touch of comfort in his voice. “Then I will help the lost.” 

She nodded, allowing herself to be hopeful for just one moment that he could get her out of there. She had been worn down by over a month of servitude and persistence. She had always held onto her strength of will and resolve, but hope was nice to feel for the first time in what felt like a long time. 

The Drell entered the bedroom. There was a muffled shout, a snap, and some more scuffling. Shepard’s hand was over her mouth as she listened, eyes closed. She had sealed her fate; she could not leave through the door she had come through. If she was the last person to leave and then this Turian was found dead, she would be accused. Even if the girl he was with still lived and claimed a Drell killed him, Shepard assumed she would still be shot for presumed involvement. 

The Drell returned. His gun was still in its holster, cold and unfired. He stepped to the vent he had evidently entered from and looked to Shepard. 

“What of the girl he was with?” She asked, watching him. 

“She is alive, merely unconscious. If you do not come with me, the guards will kill you.” 

“I know.” Shepard sighed, biting her lower lip. The Drell held a hand out to her and waited. She hesitantly took it. Shepard nearly screamed as he held her hand out in front of him, pulled his pistol out and fired. She was lucky she managed to catch the alarm and horror in her throat. His shot had destroyed one side of the bracelet, and she felt the searing heat of the shot and the metal. The bracelet fell to the ground. 

He pulled her closer and lifted her up by her waist. She understood and grabbed onto the ledge, pulling herself into the vent. He was taller than she was and jumped to grab the other side, pulling himself up skillfully. Closing the vent, he sealed the two of them inside. Their faces were close as he stared at her, before seemingly deciding something. “You deserve to know my name. It is Thane Krios. Are you ready?” 

Shepard nodded slowly. “Of course. Get me out of this shit hole.” 

Thane chuckled softly and began leading her through the vents to freedom.


	2. A Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my boyfriend for giving it a quick proof-read! Any errors, blame him ^^

The first few days of Shepard’s freedom were not like she envisioned. For some foolish reason, she thought her world would look better once she was out of that horrible brothel. While she was no longer under the heel of a power mad Turian mistress, she was sitting in a freezing cold, dark room with little idea when she was going to get off this station. 

Thane had taken her to an underdeveloped part of The Emancipation. It was full of unfurnished housing, not owned by anyone and often filled with those who could not afford actual accommodation living in squalor. They found a relatively unoccupied area of these buildings and hid, taking precautions not to be noticed or followed. 

Shepard slept there overnight, using her arm as a pillow and shivering. The area was unheated and while the abysmal cold of space could not reach fully through the station, anything unheated would still be cold. Whenever she woke – which was often – she noticed Thane was not sleeping. He appeared to be meditating. She tried not to question it. About half way through the night, he seemed to notice she had woken and was looking at him. 

“I do not know humans well,” he said, tilting his head at her. “Are the bumps on your skin a reaction to the fear of possibly being caught?” 

“I’m freezing my ass off,” she replied through gritted teeth. 

He nodded slowly, then removed his jacket. He wore only a tight jumpsuit underneath but seemed unphased by the cold. He lay the jacket over Shepard, despite objections she began to voice. It was warm; warmer than it should have been, even with his body heat. 

“Won’t you be cold?” She asked. “Drell evolved on a hot, arid planet. I thought you’d be feeling this.” 

“My jumpsuit has thermal regulation. As does the jacket. I am surprised you knew that. I was not under the impression your people have had much to do with mine.” 

Shepard pulled the jacket closer, relishing the warmth seeping into her skin. “My mother is a xenobiologist. She likes to talk about her work.” She wasn’t sure why she was being so honest; he was an assassin. But he had helped her and did not seem like a threat to her. For now, anyway. 

He seemed to accept her answer and returned to his mediation. She slept better with the jacket, but as it did not cover her entire body, her rest was still fitful. 

She spent the next day huddled in a corner, waiting for Thane to return. He had taken back his jacket and left her in the room. He explained he needed supplies and to find a ship and would return in the evening. As he left, she had serious doubts that he would return. She relied on him returning; if Aricus were to find her, Shepard was sure she would die. So, she stayed in the corner of the room, shivering and chattering her teeth, trying not to make any other sounds. 

Thane did return. He had a multitude of things. One was a heat rod; usually used for camping or on-world excursions, it was a small rod that stood up on its own and when activated, omitted a heat like a fireless camp fire. She warmed her hands in front of it like she would a campfire, watching Thane produce what else he purchased. She was thankful for the food he gave her – some sort of stew and a flask of what she believed was Asari tea – and she gratefully began eating. She decided to trust the food was not poisoned, as he had the capacity to kill her in her sleep the night before if he was going to do so. He also produced a cloak, seemingly also thermo regulated. Out of his pocket he also produced two little beads. 

“I have no idea what those are,” she admitted through a mouthful of food. 

“They are small holo-transmitters. Attached to the hood of your cloak when it is up, they will make your skin looked like an Asari’s. If you do not show your hair or hands, you will pass as an Asari for the purposes of leaving the station.” 

She nodded. “That’s a good idea.”

Thane bowed his head in return. “A very good idea, considering you are the only human on the station. I cannot book passage on a ship for a human. Aricus Lavinos would know.” 

“So, you know of her?” 

“I studied the station and my target’s possible locations before I came aboard. It was easy to find information on Lavinos; she has a reputation, it seems.” 

“Back to finding a way off this station,” Shepard said, steering the conversation back. “Any luck?” 

“None, I am afraid.” Thane sat, closer to Shepard than the night before to take advantage of the heat rod. “I did not ask everyone I could have, as I did not want to draw unwanted attention. I will try again tomorrow.” 

“What exactly are you looking for in a ship? We’re not going to find first class accommodation in the damn Terminus Systems.” 

Thane made a noise like a small chuckle. “No, we are not. I was looking for anyone headed for the Attican Traverse. From there, it will be easier to find a ship destined for Earth Alliance Space.” 

“Okay, I have another question.” Shepard sipped the tea, finding the cardamom and citrus like flavours a bit strong but enjoying its heat. “Why are you helping me?” 

For a long moment, Thane did not reply. He seemed to be studying her, as if looking for his own answers. Finally, he said, “You are lost. I know what it is like to be lost. I wanted to help you, provide guidance when I found none. My contract is complete, I am free to do as a wish and help who I wish.” 

“That was a more cryptic answer than I was looking for,” Shepard replied, frowning slightly. 

“Know that I mean you no harm, Lieutenant Shepard. I promise to return you to Alliance Space.” 

Shepard smiled, unable to control it. “You can just call me Shepard. And – thank you, Thane. I appreciate all you’re doing for me, a stranger.” 

Even though he had purchased her the flask of tea, she held it out to him. He seemed puzzled for a moment. Then he took it and sipped from it, hopefully understanding it as a kind of peace offering. After another sip he returned the tea, and they sat in silence for a while. Shepard finished the food and the tea before she spoke again. “I have one last question. It’s been bothering me all day.”

Thane inclined his head and gestured for her to ask. 

“Why aren’t they looking for you? There can’t be many Drell on the station.” 

“I have seen no others. Last night, I disabled the surveillance cameras in that area. I entered the vents in an unmonitored area and exited them again with you in that same place.” 

“What about the Asari girl with your target? You said she was still alive.” 

“She did not see me, I came up behind her.” 

Shepard accepted his answers with a nod, satisfied no one would know they were together. 

“You still have many questions,” Thane observed quietly. 

“Yeah, I have. But they can wait.” 

Shepard went to sleep that night warmer than she had the previous night. She slept better, even with the ground still cold and hard beneath her. The following day was the same as the last, with Thane leaving during the day and returning in the evening. Shepard simply had to wait for him, feeling useless and confined. She found herself pacing, sometimes doing exercises. She tired of both quickly, and often returned to just sitting, her knees pulled up under her chin. 

Thane had better news that evening. “I have found a trade ship leaving for the Attican Traverse in two days. I have booked passage for myself and an Asari. They will be docking at a station where we should find a ship to take you home.” 

Relief flooded Shepard. It was not quite enough to untangle the knot of anxiety in her chest, but it still felt good. “That’s wonderful news. What kind of ship is it?” 

“A trade vessel. We will be staying in one of the cargo holds.” 

“Sounds about right for Terminus Systems transport.” 

A look of amusement briefly passed over Thane’s features. “Have you been in the Terminus Systems before now?” He asked.

“No, I’m judging it only by reputation and how I was brought here,” she admitted with a shrug. 

They spoke for a while longer that evening, simply passing the time. As they did so, Shepard watched Thane carefully. He did not seem to mind her scrutiny. He was an assassin, she had seen his capacity to kill brutally quickly. Yet, he was gentle and softly spoken. It was a strange internal dynamic she was struggling to wrap her head around. He was the only person who had shown genuine kindness to her since she was captured. While Arren Tor had not been awful to her, she knew he was only clinging to her in the hopes the Alliance would save her and him along with her. 

Shepard spent another two days hiding in that little room, feeling like she was going crazy for staring at the same walls for days on end. Her only relief was Thane’s presence and conversation. He would go out in the day and bring her back food. The food was welcome, but the simple act of elevating her boredom was enough to make her look forward to his return. They usually spoke about nothing personal; politics, different systems of the galaxy, and even weapons were all safe topics. He did not talk about being an assassin and she did not talk about being an Alliance officer. 

On their final evening, Thane brought up a new topic. “Today, while eating in a shop alone, I was asked if I had seen a human wandering the station.” 

Shepard’s entire body tensed, her gut twisting at the thought of them looking for her. “That is not surprising. Aricus probably paid a lot of credits for me. What exactly happened?” She wasn’t sure if she did a good job keeping her voice steady. 

“I was approached by two Krogan. I had been watching them go up to various others and decided if I fled from them it would draw too much attention. They asked for a human female, with orange hair, grey eyes and standing at about 5 foot 4. I said I was not aware of any humans on the station and would keep an eye out for her.” 

“And they suspected nothing?”

“I did not give them a reason to suspect anything.” 

“Good,” said Shepard, nodding more to herself than to Thane. “If they’re asking random people on the station, they must have no other leads.” 

“Precisely my thinking.” 

Shepard did not sleep that night. The reminder of Aricus’ power over her and her willingness to hunt for her was too much to allow rest. She wanted – needed – to get off this station. 

The morning she had waited for came. She dressed herself in the clothing Thane had purchased over the passed couple of days. They were all in an Asari style. She had boots, for she had no shoes while working for Aricus. Her new black trousers and shirt were not a perfect fit but were serviceable; she was surprised how well they did fit in saying that, considering they were not made for a human. Thane had an eye for detail. Over top of it all was the cloak, which hung down to her knees and obscured most of her face with the hood up. Thane attached the little beads to the inside of the hood, hiding them amongst the fabric before activating them. He then stood back and looked her over. 

“Passible,” he concluded, “But I advise you not to speak. I will cover that.” 

“I couldn’t agree more.” 

He clicked off the heat rod and gave it to her. She slipped it under her belt before looking back to Thane, surprised at what he held out now. It was a pistol; simpler than his own but certainly serviceable. 

“You are surprised,” Thane noted, putting the pistol into her hands. 

“I just wasn’t sure you would trust me with one of these.” 

“Why is that? You are Alliance, you know how to wield a weapon.”

Shepard gave him a look, titling her head to do so. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” 

“If we wanted to hurt each other, it would have happened by now. We are boarding a Batarian ship, I thought you would have been more comfortable with a weapon. I advise you not to use it unless extreme circumstances arise.” 

“Noted.” She tucked the pistol under her belt, feeling it rest against her lower back. 

He seemed to take it as a sign she was ready. He led her quietly through the halls and rooms until they reached a lit passageway. She had thought her cloak was black; now in the light, she discovered it was a deep green. She was not distracted for long, following Thane’s lead with as much confidence as she could muster. She matched his gait and together they strode through the station, earning nothing more than a handful of glances. 

They reached the ship bay and passed multiple vessels and crews before Thane stopped. It was an older ship with no notable features beyond words written in Batarian along one side. The crew seemed to be finishing loading their cargo, and what seemed like a captain raised a hand to Thane. 

“You got the rest of the payment?” The captain asked as they approached him, not mincing words. He barely glanced at Shepard, focused on Thane and the credits. 

“I have the agreed upon amount for boarding,” Thane replied, tossing him a little bag. “The rest will be given upon delivery.” 

“No paper trail,” said the captain, nodding. “I like your style. I’ll take you to where you’re staying; it’ll be a week’s travel until we arrive.” 

As they boarded, Shepard stayed closer to Thane. Her heart was pounding in her ears and she struggled listening to whatever the captain was babbling on about. The ship’s interior was dim and slightly dank, full of echoes from different parts of the ship. They were led to what seemed to be one of five small cargo bays. At the back left was an area without crates or containers. It had two bundles of bedding, and a small container of what seemed to be food and drink. 

“We’ll close the bay doors when we set off,” the captain said, “There will still be life support in here, and we’ll check up on your sometimes, but otherwise consider this your home for the next week.” 

“Thank you,” said Thane, bowing his head in respect. This seemed to amuse the Batarian captain, who chuckled and walked away. 

Once he was gone, Shepard sat on the ground. This wasn’t much better than the little room she had been in; they had one fifth of a cargo bay which just as cold as the room. She supposed it was at least lighter, and the main benefit was that she would not be on The Emancipation for much longer. 

She flinched as a hand was placed on her shoulder. “You are afraid,” observed Thane, his voice soft and hand strong. “You are nearly free.”

“I don’t think I’ll consider myself properly free until I’m back in Alliance Space.” 

Thane nodded and removed his hand. He sat beside her. Together they heard the cargo bay door close and felt the small jolt of the ship. Shepard couldn’t describe the strange relief and elation she felt as they began moving. She felt the ship leave the docking bay, and felt it move faster as it left the radius of the station. It was difficult to believe that after well over a month, she was leaving that wretched station behind. 

It took maybe twenty or so minutes to reach the Mass Effect Relay. When they passed through it and were jettisoned through space, leaving the station at a rate much faster than she cared to remember, only then did she feel as though she was no longer being pursued.


	3. A Little Discussion on Morality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my bf for giving it a quick proof read ^^
> 
> There is also violence in this chapter but it is tagged as in game style violence (plus some blood).

Shepard watched Thane from underneath her hood as he scaled various unlabelled cargo boxes. He swiftly reached the security camera situated in the top corner of the room, where he then bent and pulled a knife from his boot. Shepard did not realize he hid blades on his person, though kicked herself when she realized how ignorant she was being. He was an assassin; she shouldn’t expect less. The knife was small, maybe the length of her hand, and thin. Thane reached up to the camera and plucked it from the wall, exposing its wires. He seemed to study them for a moment, before choosing a specific one to cut. He nodded once to Shepard before sheathing his blade and making his way back down the boxes. 

It felt nice to remove her hood. Shepard shook her head, stretching her neck and enjoying the freedom. Not having to worry about her identity being known was relaxing. While the Batarian crew and owner of this ship could come through the cargo bay doors to investigate, Shepard and Thane would hear the doors before they were seen. The boxes had been deliberately positioned to make a little area for them to stay; now the camera was deactivated, it was private. As private as their situation allowed, admittedly. 

“It’s nice to be off that damned station,” Shepard said, running her hand over her braided hair. “Even if we’re with people who are probably smuggling stuff.” She snorted at the look Thane gave her. “I don’t care if they said they were just traders,” she explained, “They agreed to smuggle us, I don’t see why they wouldn’t agree to smuggle cargo.” 

“You are probably correct,” Thane said, sitting on the ground nearby. “Though your past experience with Batarians clouds those thoughts.” 

“I’m not thrilled to be on a Batarian ship, but it was better than the alternative of remaining where we were.” 

“I have not had good experiences with Batarians in the past either,” Thane said. He looked as though he would say more before a haze passed over his eyes. His lips parted as if shocked, and his eyes began rapidly moving without truly seeing. 

“Thane?” Shepard asked, alarmed. She reached out to him and waved a hand before his face. There was no reaction. “Thane?” This time she spoke with more urgency. She shuffled closer and put a hand to his shoulder. He snapped back to reality with a jerk of his head. He met Shepard’s wide-eyed gaze with a certain calmness she did not expect. 

“Was that something to do with Drell memories?” She asked cautiously, removing her hand from his shoulder but remained sitting beside him. 

He seemed surprised. “I am somewhat surprised you know of Drell eidetic memories.” 

She smiled. “My mother wrote a paper on ‘alien’ memories, comparing brain patterns and functions to that of a human. Drell featured prominently, as you may imagine. I read every paper she writes, even if I don’t always understand it.” 

Thane nodded, accepting her answer. “Batarian slavers killed my wife,” he said, blunt and calm. “I was… reliving that.” 

Shepard recoiled. She did not know what to say, or how to react. In the past few days, she had told him some personal things, such as her mother’s profession. She did not expect any kind of opening up as a result of their time together, or deeply personal matters. It could be simply the way they had been living the last couple of days, talking for hours and existing in dangerous spaces together. She did not believe for a moment that was the whole reason for this revelation. 

“I’m sorry,” Shepard said quietly. “I truly am. I can’t understand how much that must hurt.” 

Thane bowed his head for a moment, accepting her words. When he looked back up, there was a sadness in his eyes. His voice remained as steady as always. “I do not blame the Batarians here for the actions of their kin. Neither should you assume these Batarians as the same as the ones who captured you.” 

“The benefit of the doubt,” Shepard said the old saying. 

“I do not necessarily believe these people are good ones, just that they are not the same one as those who wronged us.” 

“Still, that’s strangely forgiving for an assassin.” 

“That is what my soul believes, even if my body is hired to do otherwise. I have never killed someone for simply being who they are – I only kill when they have done enough to deserve death.” 

Shepard tilted her head, watching his eyes briefly glaze over again. “Have you ever killed an innocent?” Shepard asked. 

“I killed many people tied to the death of my wife, though as far as I am aware none were innocent. Everyone else was sentenced to death by the ones who paid me.” 

“Do you not feel guilty?” 

“My soul is clean, even as my hands are bloodied further.” 

Shepard sighed, unsure what to make of his words. There was no doubt in her mind that he deeply believed in what he said. 

“You are military,” Thane said, interrupting her thoughts. “Your actions are the actions of your superiors once you have been given an order.” 

“Some argue as much, yes. But if I was given an order I didn’t believe in, I would not follow it,” Shepard’s voice had become somewhat harsh as she spoke those words. It was something she thought about often. “My father is an Alliance admiral. Ever since I was a child, he told me to make my own decisions. Don’t follow others blindly. I can follow orders, sure, but I’m not just a simple grunt. I’m a person. I have agency over my choices.” She paused, before adding in a soft whisper, “So do you. You chose to help me. You have the capacity to choose.” 

Thane regarded her carefully. He was difficult to read; she had little more than assumptions and guesses about what his thoughts were before he spoke. He spoke as quietly as she had at the end, “I will consider it, Shepard. You have given me a lot to think about.” 

She nodded, knowing that was as good as she was going to get. 

The cargo bay was not as cold as the secluded room on the station, but the heat rod was still welcome. Shepard slept through most of that first day, waking again to talk quietly to Thane in the evenings. She was glad he stayed awake through her exhausted sleeping; his quiet presence was reassuring. 

The following day, Shepard was becoming increasingly bored. Some of the Batarian crew paid them a visit in the morning, making sure neither were getting up to anything nefarious. Shepard put her cloak on and her hood up when she heard the bay’s door. Once they were gone, she removed it again. In the afternoon, she began pacing. Many days of being confined were beginning to take its toll on her, both mentally and physically. 

She stretched her limbs out as she walked in circles around their sleeping area. Thane was meditating, though she knew from experience that he listened and replied if she spoke. “You must have hand to hand training as an assassin,” she said conversationally. She wanted something to do. 

Thane’s eyes did not open as he replied, “That is a presumption with an unspoken question.” 

“You have to be good at stuff like that in your line of work, right?”

“I would appreciate if you simply asked your question.” 

“Teach me?” She asked, finally stopping her pacing to cross her arms over her chest and wait for his reaction. 

Finally opening his eyes, Thane gave her a small frown and tilted his head to one side. “The Alliance did not teach your basic hand to hand?” 

“I mean, they did. But they only know so much, and I’m still learning. You’ve clearly been in your profession for a while now, there must be something you can teach me.” 

He looked amused. “I will ignore you calling me old.”

Shepard laughed, shaking her head. “You know that’s not what I meant. You’re older than me, I’m only twenty-six.” 

Thane stood in one swift movement and approached her, standing before her now with his hands behind his back. “Show me your best posture.” 

Shepard slipped into the stance she had been taught. She felt clumsy; she hadn’t exercised or done any training since being captured. Thane frowned slightly at her stance, making her sigh. “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea–” She began before being interrupted. 

Thane stepped around her, using his foot to move hers. She let herself be moved, though did throw a small scowl his direction. He didn’t pay it any attention. He stood behind her now. With his hands on her upper back, he made her back straighter and moved her shoulders, so she would not be face on to an opponent. They were not major adjustments, though there must be a reason behind it. He put his own arms around her to adjust her arms, seeing from her angle and seemingly calculating accordingly. Thane then stepped back around her, moving himself into a very similar position. Shepard felt the heat in her cheeks and realized she was blushing slightly. 

She did not have time to dwell on that long. Thane began their first lesson abruptly. She was barely able to block his movements. He seemed to be using his full force until he reached her, where he only tapped her instead. While she wouldn’t have minded if he had gone somewhat harder on his hits, she was also quietly glad he did not. She was feeling very out of practice. He was quick, hard to follow. She blocked enough of his hits that she did not feel awful about her abilities, but only landed a handful of hits on him. He always seemed to block or dodge, or simply never give her the opportunity to do anything but parry. She wasn’t as gentle about her hits as he was, though he did not seem to mind.

They sparred until both were tired. Shepard was sweaty and puffed, though feeling good about actually using her body and stretching her muscles. Thane was only somewhat out of breath and not sweaty due to his scales. 

“I sincerely hope the Alliance is better at teaching you to aim than it is teaching hand to hand combat,” Thane said with a hint of amusement. 

Shepard laughed hoarsely. “I’m typically more of a sniper. Close range and hand to hand isn’t my speciality.” 

“You held your own well for someone who is not specialised in it.”

Shrugging, Shepard was surprised. She did not believe she had done well against him. Evidently, he thought differently. 

Over the next four days, they settled into something of a routine. Since they were in space, there was no day or night; they relied on feeling and knowing how many hours had passed to know when to sleep. When they did sleep, Shepard made sure to wear her cloak. Thane slept little, preferring to meditate and keep watch. When they woke, they ate a small amount of the food provided before sparring. Shepard often felt herself slipping back into techniques she had been taught in the Alliance, though eventually the method Thane taught her began to become automatic. In the afternoons, they tended to just talk or doze. Their Batarian hosts rarely visited, preferring to leave their smuggled cargo alone. 

This was until early the fifth day. The cargo bay doors opened while Shepard and Thane sparred. Shepard dashed to get her cloak on, sitting on the ground as she pulled her hood up. Thane positioned himself between her and the Batarians as she did that, just in case she had not finished by the time they made their way around the containers. He pulled his pistol out and concealed it behind his back, holding both his hands there in a relaxed position. 

It was the captain of the ship who visited them. He was accompanied by four of his crew, all armed. 

“I hope your stay has been pleasant so far,” the captain said casually. He sounded as though they were staying in a fancy hotel rather than the cargo bay of a dirty ship. “I have some questions, however.” 

Shepard knew getting away from the Terminus Systems and the Emancipation had been too easy. There had to be trouble at some point. 

Thane nodded once. “We will answer them to the best of our abilities.” 

“Good, good.” The captain rubbed his chin, regarding the two carefully. “I heard word from one of my family members that a human slave he bought to the station we left escaped. The owner searched the entire station and has now decided the slave must have gone off station. Looks bad for me, you know, to smuggle a slave. So, I’d just like to check one thing,” he said, and pointed at Shepard. “I’d like to see if you’re little friend or lover or whatever is actually an Asari. I don’t really want to take your word for it any longer.” 

Of course he was related to one of the Batarians who captured her. Shepard wanted to laugh at her terrible luck. There was a whole galaxy worth of aliens and she managed to encounter two Batarians related to one another who were both willing to do bad things. 

The four crew members held their assault rifles at the ready. Two were pointed at Thane, the other two at Shepard. Shepard hesitated. She was not sure what Thane was going to do and didn’t want to risk revealing herself if he had a better idea. 

“You are making a mistake,” Thane calmly told the captain. Shepard saw him subtly turn the safety off on his hidden pistol. “We have paid you good money. I suggest leaving us to our business. It is safer for you that way.” 

“Safer for me?” The Batarian captain bellowed a laugh before unsheathing a shotgun from his hip. 

Before anyone could fire, Thane released a pulse of biotic energy. It threw all five Batarians off their feet and sent then flying backwards. Shepard took this opportunity to roll to the side and dart for the nearest cargo container. Once there, she threw off her cloak, not wanting it to be a hindrance and drew out her pistol. Turning the safety off she peered around the edge of the container to survey what was going on. 

Thane was darting to one side, shooting one of the crew in the chest. As that crew member went down, the captain scrambled to his feet and began making for the door. Shepard tried to shoot but he disappeared out of her sight. Instead she took aim at one of the crew who were just getting to their feet. She shot him in the shoulder, making him grunt and take fire at her. She slipped back into cover, waiting until the firing stopped and he reloaded to stick her head back out and shoot him again. She didn’t want to kill him, so aimed for the thigh and then the same shoulder. After the third shot he went down. 

Thane dispatched the last two. She didn’t see what happened to the second to lass crew member but the last one started to reload, only to have Thane engage him in melee. The Batarian didn’t last long; Thane snapped his neck. 

Sirens began droning through the ship and the lights turned from a bright white to a dull red. 

“Are you hurt?” Shepard asked Thane as she came out of cover. 

“No, are you?” 

Shepard shook her head. “Do you have a plan?” 

“Incapacitate the crew.” 

“By incapacitate, you mean kill?” 

Thane shot her a stern look. “I mean for both of us to survive and for you to make it back to Alliance space. I will do whatever I deem necessary. It is kill or be killed, Shepard.” 

She chose not to reply. Thane took point, reloading his pistol and making his way out of the cargo bay. Shepard readied her pistol and followed. 

It was a standard sized cargo ship, and Thane somehow seemed to know where to go. Perhaps it was a standard Batarian vessel, or perhaps he noticed something Shepard did not. Either way, Shepard was glad she was not trying to navigate the ship. 

They came across three more crew members. After a quick shoot out, the three members of the crew were no longer an issue. Thane and Shepard continued onward. 

They all but walked into the next encounter. Five crew members, all armed with either submachine guns or pistols. A couple even had knives. Chaos broke loose. Shepard narrowly avoided being shot in the knee, throwing herself to one side and rolling on the ground. When she came to her knees, she shot the one who had nearly got her in the stomach. 

She saw Thane shot one point-blank in the head, having twisted his arm and disarmed the man first. One of the other Batarians roared in rage. Shepard shot that one in the upper arm, watching him snarl at her. He raised his shotgun and walked toward her, shooting wildly. She rolled again, avoiding the bullets and scrambling to her feet. He was nearly upon her when he was caught in a biotic field. It lifted him up, crushed some of his armour and tossed him to the side like a limp doll. 

Shepard looked to Thane in thanks. He was holding on the Batarians down with one hand, the hand being gripped tight around the Batarians throat, with the other hand outstretched to harness his biotic energy. There was another Batarian coming up behind him. Thane noticed before Shepard could shout her warning and raise her gun. He reached for his own weapon, twisting and shooting the Batarian. The one he had in his grip was not quite dead; while Thane was distracted he pulled out a knife and lunged, twisting against Thane’s grip. The blade sank deep into Thane’s abdomen. 

Thane crushed the Batarian’s throat. A new member of the crew came around the corner, only to be shot by Shepard as she ran up to Thane. He had released the Batarian and now his hand was at his side, his fingers slick with red-green blood. The knife was still lodged there. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” Shepard muttered as she reached him. She wished she hadn’t thrown that damned cloak away, it would have been good for staunching the wound. 

“Go ahead, I will follow behind you,” Thane insisted, his voice strained. 

Shepard stared at him, incredulous. “I’m not leaving you here!” 

“You won’t be, I said I will follow. I will be slower than I was, but I can still fight.” 

She was shaking her head. “No, Thane…” 

“Go. Find the cockpit, set a distress signal. Let us pray someone friendly shows up.” 

She was torn. She couldn’t help him, she didn’t have a medkit. She didn’t want to leave him, though leaving was the best way to help him. She hoped like hell there was a nearby friendly ship. She pointed a finger at him. “You’re not allowed to die on me,” she growled, before softening her tone. “Please.” 

Shepard continued up the corridor. They were not far away from the cockpit. After a minute or so of jogging through the ship, the corridor opened into a commander centre with the cockpit just beyond that. There were three Batarians there, one of which was the captain. She shot one of the Batarians in the back before ducking out of sight. She and one of the other Batarians exchanged a few bullets, neither hitting until Shepard struck lucky. With him down, she continued through the command area to the cockpit where the captain was. He faced her with his shotgun, his back against the pilot’s chair. Shepard held her pistol up, the two of them facing off. There was no pilot; the ship must be on autopilot. 

“So, you’re the slave,” the captain said, licking his lips nervously. “I bet you were expensive. Combat trained always are. I’ll tell you what, I’ll give your friend all his money back if you let me live.” 

She shot him in the chest. 

Stepping over his body, she deactivated the autopilot. Even if the ship wasn’t in her language, basic controls are universally the same. She then set a distress beacon before running back to where she had left Thane. 

He was slowly making his way through the corridor, jaw clenched but face otherwise stony against the pain. When she reached him, she put his arm around her shoulders and began moving him more quickly through the ship. She did not know if all of the crew members had been dealt with, and did not feel like getting shot in the back. 

There was a message on the cockpit’s screen as they reached it. She released Thane, letting him lean against the wall for support. She wasn’t sure what the message said, but it seemed to indicate screen activation. She did that, and before her was a Quarian face. 

“You’re not a Batarian,” the surprised Quarian said. 

“I’m Lieutenant Eve Shepard of the Alliance Navy,” she replied, both hope and anxiety twisting in her chest. “I’m missing in action, presumed dead. The crew turned on us when they realized I’d been sold as a slave and escaped. Please, my friend is badly hurt.” 

The Quarian was nodding. “Prepare to be boarded, Lieutenant. We will be ready with a medical team.” 

The image of the Quarian disappeared. Shepard breathed out a sigh of relief; anything would surely be better than here. She set the ship to what she thought was automatic boarding procedures and hoped she got it right. She turned back to Thane, who was breathing hard. Stepping to him, she quietly put his arm around her shoulders again and walked him slowly to where she believed the airlock would be. 

Around five minutes passed. She was growing increasingly concerned about Thane, but there was little she could do. She did a few quick searches for a medkit in the command area and found none. She didn’t want to stray too far. Eventually she opted to stay with him and wait for the Quarians. 

Metal clanked, and air hissed as the ships locked together. The doors opened, revealing the white interior of the Quarian ship and five Quarian personnel. She wasn’t offended two of them were armed; she would have done the same. Two others had a medical stretcher, and they reached out for Thane. He let them lie him down. He did not let go of Shepard, however. She held his hand tightly as she walked beside the stretcher, listening to the hiss of the airlock as they left the cargo ship behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there are either one or two chapters left (depending on what the characters decide to do) and then I'm considering doing a part two, because I have some ideas but we'll just see what happens at the end of this fic. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks to my bf for giving this a quick proof read!

The captain of the Quarian ship introduced herself as Kari’Leathe vas Nemaena, the ship itself being the Nemaena. Kari’Leathe stood with Shepard at the glass window separating the surgery room from the outside passageway. 

“I have some questions, Lieutenant Shepard,” Kari’Leathe said through her helmet. Her voice was strong and husky yet had a calming quality. 

“Anything, Captain,” responded Shepard. She was distracted by the moving bodies and the blood in the room beyond. Thane had been sedated with some difficulty; Shepard had watched as he initially resisted, insisting on not losing consciousness. Any kind of surgery made someone vulnerable and that was not a state which suited Thane. The nurses and doctors eventually won and were now removing the clothes around the wound. Shepard could not see Thane’s unconscious face, his features obscured by a breathing mask. 

Kari’Leathe did not ignore Shepard’s distracted state. “Your friend is receiving the best care we can offer, Lieutenant.” 

Shepard nodded. “Thank you, Captain,” she looked at Kari’Leathe now, “I appreciate everything you’re doing. You had questions?” 

“Only a few, and then you can rest. What were you doing on the Batarian ship? A distress beacon was activated twice, the second time by you. We were heading toward the beacon after the first signal and were investigating the ship in our databases. It’s one known for illegal activities. I was trying to decide whether we should help them before we received a second distress beacon. I thought it odd, so I am pleased I investigated. So, why were you two aboard?” 

Shepard was nodding. In brief, she told Kari’Leathe of Akuze, the slavers, the Emancipation and Thane’s agreement to help her. 

“You have been through an ordeal, Lieutenant. Unfortunately, we are not going toward Alliance space. We are headed further into the Traverse to investigate and study a star that’s going supernova.” Kari’Leathe lowered her voice like an excited child telling a secret and continued, “The Migrant Fleet is hoping that kind of power may one day be harnessed – but since that’s so far in the future, they only sent us, a single ship.” 

Shepard smiled. “That’s one hell of an aspiration. And I understand, Captain. You have your orders and your people to think about. Is there a station nearby?” 

Kari’Leathe tapped the corner of her helmet thoughtfully. “There is, but not one I’d want to leave you at. Perhaps there is a vessel nearby we can rendezvous with, preferably an Alliance one. Don’t worry, Lieutenant. I’m not in the habit of abandoning people. We’ll find a solution that works for both parties.”

“Again, thank you, Captain.” 

“I’ve organized a room for you to stay in. You’re lucky we had spare quarters.” 

Shepard shook her head. “I’m content waiting here, Captain. You don’t need to go to the trouble.” 

She should have known Kari’Leathe wasn’t the type to take no for an answer. “I insist, Lieutenant. If you don’t mind me saying, you look like hell and you’ve been through hell. Sleep would do you good.” 

Shepard gave in. She took one last glance at Thane’s unconscious body before letting Kari’Leathe lead her through the ship. She appreciated the captain taking time to speak to her and then look after her. Kari’Leathe felt like the second person in well over a month that Shepard felt comfortable with. 

“Here we are,” Kari’Leathe said as she stopped at one of the many doors along this passageway. She tapped three numbers into the touch pad at the door and it opened. The inside of the room was just as bright and sterile as the rest of the ship. “I asked them to synthesize you food suitable for humans, so that should be here or will be soon. Anything else inside, feel welcome to use. You have free reign of the ship if you want to explore, I just ask you not to touch anything. We will contact you when you’re next needed.” 

Shepard nodded, feeling as though she had thanked Kari’Leathe too many times today already. She stepped inside, and the door closed behind her, leaving her alone with her thoughts. 

The room was small, simple and luxurious compared to how Shepard had been living recently. There was a double bed at the back of the room, alongside two chairs at a bench along one wall. A tray of what Shepard presumed was food sat on the bench. The area near to the door consisted of a small bathroom which was walled off from the rest of the room, a box that appeared to be some sort of washing machine or steriliser, and a computer terminal. 

Immediately going to the terminal, Shepard found lighting controls and dimmed the unforgiving lights. The darker room felt more private and less sterile. She realized now she had multiple patches of Thane’s blood on her hands and arms. She tried not to think of the metaphor as she went to the bathroom to clean herself up. 

The shower was more like a steriliser, and she discovered clothes had been left for her. They did not fit well, being made for a Quarian, but she appreciated the thought and slipped them on once she was clean. She brushed her hair and left it loose. Upon investigating, she realized the box was for clothes and shoes to be sterilized and shoved her old ones in. It took her a moment to work out the controls. 

She went to the food left out for her. There was a bowl covered with something resembling a Quarian equivalent of aluminium foil in the centre, with a glass of water to one side. Peeling back the foil revealed some sort of brownish-yellow substance, which smelt almost like stew. Almost. Shepard made a face but sat down to eat nevertheless. She was not hungry – her stomach churned at the idea of eating – but she knew she needed to. The Batarians had not given them much food and she needed more to keep her strength up. 

She ate what she could, though soon noticed her body begin to ache. It began with her shoulder. She must had hit it hard when she rolled on the ground or threw herself against cover. Having pushed her body and worried about other things, her mind must have put it to one side. Now, with no more adrenaline and simply being able to sit and rest, she felt sore. The rest of her body was simply a tired ache, one coming from being out of combat practice. When her shoulder truly began to bother her, she decided to sleep it off. She drank the remaining water, knowing it was good for her, and crawled into the bed. Despite the discomfort, she slipped into sleep instantly. 

***

She woke to the sound of a door opening. For a moment she had no idea where she was. She was not sure how long she had slept, and her mind began to panic. She calmed when she recalled Captain Kari’Leathe and the Quarian ship. She was safe. 

Sitting up, Shepard glanced blearily at the door. She saw a brief silhouette before the door closed and the figure stepped inside. She knew who it was by the way he stepped, careful and measured. There was a hint of pain there too, a tenderness on one side of his body. 

“Thane? What are you doing?” Shepard asked, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She was still groggy and sore but appreciating the comfort of the bed. It had been a while since she slept in a bed. 

Walking nearly soundlessly, Thane approached the bed. When he reached it, he sat down on the edge closest to Shepard. He wore only his trousers and there were bandages around his waist. He smelled of medigel and a doctor’s clinic. 

“Thank you, Shepard,” Thane said softly, sounding as tired as Shepard felt. 

“What for?” 

He smiled faintly. “Getting us out of there.” 

“Well, I couldn’t have you doing all the saving. Especially not after getting stabbed.” She leaned forward and placed a hand on his arm. “How do you feel? Why aren’t you still with the doctors?” 

“We arrived eleven standard hours ago, Shepard. These Quarians repaired me, and I am mostly better. I am sore, yes, but certainly not critical.” 

Shepard must have been asleep for close to ten hours, taking into consideration how long she spent with Kari’Leathe and then in the room alone. She pushed that to one side for a moment. “They ‘repaired’ you? That’s very dispassionate. Thane, you got stabbed.” 

“I have been stabbed and shot before, and it is probable I will be again.” Thane saw the look she was giving him and sighed, continuing with, “I am grateful to them for helping me, and I am grateful to you for continuing forward without me.” 

She was not sure if it was their previous life and death situation or her exhaustion despite her sleep for nearly ten hours, but Shepard felt her throat tighten with emotion. She shuffled forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. After a moment, she felt him return the hug with the arm on the good side of his body. 

“What else was I going to do? Leave you there?” She asked, muffled. “You didn’t leave me in that stupid fucking station.” 

“You could have taken an escape pod and jettisoned away while the crew was in chaos. You might not have been shot down.” 

She pulled away, frowning. “Would I do that?” 

Thane’s expression softened. “No, I do not believe you would.” 

“Anyway, why are you out of the clinic? You should be resting.” 

“A nurse told me you were safe once I came around from the sedative. I did not believe him until I saw with my own eyes.” 

Shepard sighed, rubbing her eyes again. They were sore. “Why didn’t you believe him? I don’t think these Quarians mean us harm, it’s just a science vessel. They saved us and helped you.” 

Thane titled his head in the way he always seemed to when she said something strange or what he believed was strange. “I do not blindly trust everyone I meet.” 

“I’m pretty sure you trusted me.” 

“That was not blind.” 

She watched him thoughtfully, trying to figure out what to say. After a few seconds she shook her head, simply shrugged and said, “Sometimes, I don’t know what to think of you, Thane.” 

He chuckled quietly. Carefully, as though not to startle her, he gently reached up and placed a hand to her cheek. The touch felt nice, his hand warm against her already flushed skin. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss against her lips. The brief contact was warm and welcome, sending a spark of electricity through her. He pulled back cautiously, watching for her reactions. She stayed still, trying to gauge what she felt. 

When she did not say anything, Thane pulled his hand away. “Forgive me, Shepard. I overstepped.” 

She shook her head. “No, you didn’t,” she said in a murmur, before closing the gap between them and kissing him. It was not as gentle as the first but held all the feeling and emotion Shepard currently felt. Thane returned it, his hand slipping from her neck to the back of her head, his fingers lacing in her hair. 

As they parted, needing to breathe, Shepard spoke, their faces a mere inch apart. “I’m not any less confused about you,” she admitted quietly, smiling, “But I am happy.” 

Thane pushed hair from her face, and said, “As am I. We should rest.” 

Shepard agreed. Despite the heat from their exchange, she was still tired to the point of sore and she wasn’t sure how much Thane had rested since his surgery. He stood and made his way around the bed, slipping into the covers on the other side. They did not cuddle each other to sleep; they settled into a comfortable position where parts of their bodies were just touching. It was simply a small reassurance and comfort. It did not take long before Shepard was asleep again, welcoming the dreamless nothingness. 

***

When she woke again, it was naturally. She had drifted apart from Thane during their sleep and lifted her head to be sure he was there. He was, and he was still asleep – properly asleep, not just mediating like she had mostly seen him do. Rest was the best thing for what remained of his wounds. For a long while, she stayed still, not wanting to disturb him. Eventually she rose, needing to relieve herself. When she returned, Thane was awake. She had a feeling even her quiet movements would wake him. 

“Good morning,” she said, crawling back into bed. He was lying on his back, and she lay on her stomach with her elbows propping her up, so she could look at him. “How do you feel?” 

“I am sore, though ultimately better.” 

“I was going to ask you something, but I don’t know if I should.” 

Thane looked at her quizzically. He lifted his hand up and she took it, holding it between her two hands. “You can ask me anything, Shepard. I will answer honestly.” 

She smiled. “I know you will; that’s why I’m worried.”

For a few minutes, longer than Shepard kept track of, they simply lay like that. It was enjoyment of each other’s company and thinking about what had transpired. Not only what happened the previous day, but the past week. They had not known each other long, but strange and dire circumstances did tend to bring people together. Shepard knew that. She also knew she would have felt great loss if he had died yesterday. 

“Thane,” Shepard said calmly. He looked at her expectantly. “What happens when we get to Alliance space?” 

He seemed puzzled. “You go home, Shepard. That is what you have wanted since your capture.” 

“I know, I know. But what happens to you?” 

“I will return to my life as an assassin and find another contract.” 

She felt a hint of that sense of loss. It hollowed out her chest and settled there. She closed her eyes and kissed his hand, trying to push that feeling to one side. She decided to enjoy whatever this was while it lasted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was supposed to be smut at the end of this chapter but I decided with Thane's current state that would be a bit silly. So you'll have to wait another chapter haha. And I've planned for one more chapter after this (unless the character do something unexpected, which can happen).
> 
> Also I wanted them to meet someone nice, for once. Plus I have fun making up characters in the ME universe. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I appreciate it ^^


	5. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the rating has been changed to explicit because, you know, smut.

Shepard and Thane were called into the meeting room to see Captain Kari’Leathe. This was the first time they left their room since entering. Food had been brought to them and they spent most of their time resting, regaining strength and energy. Thane suggested even if the captain said they could wander, others aboard the ship may be less welcoming. With a request from the captain herself – essentially a polite order – they ventured from the room and followed the Quarian who had come to fetch them. 

Shepard watched Thane from the corner of her eye. The two walked side by side, and even from this angle she could see how his posture improved. While his wound was not entirely healed, he no longer favoured one side of his body. Not that he showed pain; Shepard had spent enough time with him over the last week, especially while sparring, to know the way he moved. Even with the stab wound he was confident, not letting himself seem weak, but Shepard still saw the improvement. Her own bruises had healed as well, and she felt more well rested than she had in a long time. 

The Quarian stopped at one of the many white doors, gesturing for them to enter. Shepard went first, feeling comfortable with talking to Kari’Leathe again. Thane followed closely behind. 

“Ah, there you are,” Kari’Leathe said from where she lent against the circular table. The room was something between an office and a meeting room, with a work desk at the back of the room and a large circular table with fourteen backless chairs spread around it. “You must be Thane,” Kari’Leathe continued, nodding in greeting, “Pleasure to meet you properly.” 

“The pleasure is mine, captain. Thank you for hospitality, it is most appreciated.”

While Kari’Leathe’s face was not visible, there was a smile in her voice. “Happy to help. I have some good news.” 

She indicated to the chairs as she stood and then sat in one. Shepard took a seat beside her while Thane remained standing, hands behind his back. 

“We’ve been corresponding with a human vessel,” said Kari’Leathe, “A trading ship. They’ve agreed to go rendezvous with us. We both have to go a little off course but it’s much less than what we’d otherwise have to do.” 

Shepard grinned widely. “That sounds amazing. How long until the rendezvous?” 

“About 11 standard hours. They were much closer than I originally thought. Just a warning, while they were keen on returning a lieutenant to an Alliance run station, they hinted they may want compensation from the Alliance when you arrive.” 

Shepard shrugged. “At that point it will probably be out of my hands and with those who run the station. I’m sure the Alliance will have some sort of reward for them.” 

Thane spoke up, “These traders have agreed to take both of us?”

“Yes,” Kari’Leathe replied, “They have.” 

He seemed satisfied with the answer and nodded once. Shepard stood, and thanked Kari’Leathe once again. The Quarian captain insisted it was no issue, and they were not behind on anything the Migrant Fleet sent them out to do. 

As Shepard and Thane took their leave, Shepard’s shoulders felt lighter. While she did like the captain and appreciated her hospitality, she was glad they weren’t being taken all the way to the supernova. 

They walked in silence, Shepard holding her tongue until they reached their room. Once the door was closed and they were alone, Shepard asked quietly, “What are you going to do once the ship drops us off at a station?” 

Thane was watching her curiously, both standing in the middle of the room. “Book passage off the station, perhaps to Citadel space. My services do not often go unwanted for long.” 

Shepard tossed up what to say next. Conflict was weighing down her mind; she had only known him a week yet wanted to know him more. “Is there any chance of you staying?” She suggested, then laughed at herself. “Even for a little while?” 

He gave her a knowing smile. “You know I cannot, Shepard. I have a son, who I do not want to continue to leave behind. Even without that, I do not believe my presence would do you any favours.” 

He had not mentioned a son before, but that was not the part Shepard focused on. She frowned at him and asked, “What do you mean?” 

“Your Alliance may have an overall positive outlook toward those they deem alien, but many inside the organization do not. You are a lieutenant now, I see you wanting to rise in ranks. Being associated, in any capacity, with an alien assassin would harm your career.” 

Shepard bit her tongue to stop her from snapping at him. She knew there was truth in what he said, even if it stung. It had been almost three decades since the First Contact War, but bitterness and suspicion were still rampant among certain human groups. Including aspects of the Alliance. It wasn’t just the ‘alien’ part either, it was Thane’s occupation. Assassination wasn’t exactly smiled upon in the Alliance. And she knew he would not lie about what he did, it simply wasn’t something he would do. He felt no shame about his occupation. The optimist in her wanted to believe him staying wouldn’t affect her career; the pessimist knew it would. 

When she said nothing in reply, Thane stepped closer to her. He did not touch her and stood motionlessly before her. “I will have fulfilled my promise when we arrive at the Alliance station,” he told her gently. “I must leave you there.” 

She nodded and smiled up at him. “I know. I just… I don’t know. It’s complicated.” She laughed quietly, and completely closed the gap between them. Lightly placing her hand where Thane had been stabbed, she asked, “How does it feel?” 

“It is tender, but otherwise no longer painful when I move,” replied Thane, giving her another knowing look. 

She laughed again, suddenly realizing what he was insinuating. “Really?” 

Instead of replying, he kissed her. She returned it, reaching up to cup the back of his neck. Pulling her closer until their hips touched, his hands wandered over her lower back and hips. She could imagine his firm but gentle touch on her stomach, breasts and thighs, and kissed him harder in the hopes of making that happen. After what felt like moments, though were probably minutes, Thane pulled back from the kiss and gave her a warning look. She frowned up at him, slightly out of breath. They were still pressed together, and she carefully ran her fingers over the frills on the side of his neck. 

“What’s on your mind?” She asked, worried about his mostly healed wound. If it was that, they would definitely stop. 

“I am merely concerned,” he replied quietly, and she felt the deep thrum of the words in his chest. “For you.” 

“What? Why? You’re the one who got stabbed.” 

“I do not want to push you into anything. Not so long ago you were being held as a slave. That is a vulnerable position to be in; I do not want you to be uncomfortable.” 

She smiled and lent her forehead against his chest. “I don’t feel vulnerable, Thane. I feel entirely clear thinking about this decision.” She looked back up at him. “Thank you.” 

This time she kissed him. She poured all she felt into that kiss; her happiness, gratefulness and desire. She knew without any doubt she wanted him. The kiss consumed them both. His fingers tangled in her hair. Her hands found the edges of his shirt and they parted for a second to pull it from him. Guiding him backwards, they stopped their slow, careful steps as Thane hit the bottom of the bed. She gently urged him back, aware of the still bandaged part of his abdomen. Following him down onto the bed, she soon sat above him, straddling his hips. 

She sat back, breathless and flushed. Her lips were damp and puffy, and she smiled down at him. She noticed then how bright the room was, and how electric his touch was. She was dazed for a moment, coming back to it when he said, “Shepard?” 

“I’m okay,” she replied, smiling and shaking her head. “Drell venom is, uh, interesting.” 

She pulled her shirt off and threw it somewhere in the room, cutting off whatever he was about to say. He chuckled, keeping one of his hands on her hip and moving the other to her breast. She was somehow amazed that hands which had killed could be so soft. It seemed a wrong kind of juxtaposition of ideas, and she shivered against his touch. She ground into his hips in response, eliciting a low moan from him. 

Deciding she liked that response, she continued in that vein as she leaned forward and kissed him again. He held her hips and ass firmly, returning her increasingly heated kisses. Eventually she moved from his mouth, kissing down his throat and nibbling at his collarbones. 

Suddenly she pulled away from him, sitting between his legs. He looked at her curiously. She guided the band of his trousers down and he lifted his hips to help, chuckling faintly to himself. She then kissed his hipbones, the tops of his thighs and stomach, occasionally letting her hair or chin glide teasingly over his erection. His hips twitched and one strong hand gripped her hair, but he let her tease away. Eventually her lips moved to his cock, the warmth of her mouth making him moan. 

She did not bob her head up and down for long before she moved away, leaving him exposed to the cool air. She stood off the bed and removed the remainder of her clothes, deciding she could not wait any longer. He sat up to touch her and kiss her stomach and breasts as she did so, but she gently pushed him back onto his back. He shot her a look, and she just laughed as she climbed over him. “Do you have a problem?” She whispered, lowering herself onto his cock as she did so. She felt his physical reaction and met his intent gaze. His fine scales scratched the sensitive skin on her thighs in a way she found herself enjoying. 

“Not now,” Thane murmured, drawing Shepard down for a kiss. Bracing herself on the bed, she ground against him, urged on by his bucking beneath her and his hands guiding her hips. She wasn’t sure how long it had been since she was with someone; long before she was abducted, as she wasn’t in the habit of hooking up with other officers. There was a simple joy in simply being free to enjoy the touch and the feeling of someone inside her. It did not take her long to orgasm; she tightened around him and her thighs quivered. She moaned, eyes squeezed closed as she chased the feeling of release and bliss. 

Before she regained herself, Thane had flipped her onto the bed. Now above and thrusting into her, he smothered her in a kiss. She responded by folding her legs around his hips and wrapping her arms around his neck, pinning him to her. She did not feel her skin beginning to chafe, too caught up in the moment to notice anything but him. 

His own release came when his hips jerked, and he moaned into her mouth before pulling away to press his face into her neck. His entire body shook for a long moment before he stilled, remaining encircled in her embrace. 

They stayed like that for a long moment, both out of breath. Thane was the first to move. He gentle pressed his forehead against the side of her head for a moment before pulling out of her hold. She released him, her legs feeling somewhat shaky. Unashamed of his nudity, Thane moved to lay down properly on the bed. She followed him and lay her head on his chest when he lifted his arm. 

“It is my hope, Shepard,” Thane spoke softly, and she could feel his breath against the top of her head. “That you do not regret what we just did because I cannot stay.” 

“I don’t regret it,” she said softly. She twisted her neck to look up at him, her hair splayed across his chest. “I just wish we’d met under better circumstances.” 

“As do I.” 

She rests her head back down and smiled. 

*** 

The Quarian ship rendezvous with the human merchant ship, appropriately called the Mercury. Shepard and Thane thanked Kari’Leathe once more. The Quarian captain wished them safe travels, and they parted. 

The XO of the Mercury greeted them and showed them to their rooms. They were given two separate rooms beside one another’s. They stayed in only one for the whole journey, not really caring what any crew thought. Their access to the ship was limited to their rooms, the galley and a common room with an observation area. The two mostly kept to their room. Shepard being Alliance evidently made some of the crew uneasy, as they often nodded respectfully to her but barely spoke to her. At that stage of their journey, however, Shepard wanted to rest anyway. 

Shepard and Thane spent the next four days it took to reach Alliance space enjoying each other’s company. That included sex, sparring and simply existing together. After all the chaos, uncertainly and hiding, it was nice to just relax sometimes. 

When they finally approached the station days later, somewhat on the edge of Alliance space, Shepard watched from the common room. She was the only one there, the rest of the crew getting whatever cargo they had aboard ready for transfer. She watched the station as they neared it, coming in at an angle while they waited for docking instructions from the station itself. Shepard did not know what was happening in the cock pit, but she assumed this due to having come into such stations herself many times. 

She heard the door open and close again. Soundlessly, Thane stepped up to stand at her side. For a time, they watched in silence. She was not sure who moved first, but they seemed to mutually reach for the other’s hand. 

“Not precisely home,” Thane mused, “But enough to be safe, I believe.” 

Shepard smiled. “Anywhere with the Alliance is home enough after the last month and a half.” She looked over at him. “Thank you, Thane. I truly appreciate everything you’ve done.” 

He bowed his head in response, the faint smile across his lips saying enough. She hesitated for a moment, before moving to hug him. They stayed wrapped in an embrace for minutes before the ship began to move into dock. They parted to retrieve their few things and wait for the XO. Soon the XO arrived and led them to the airlock, then off the ship. 

Shepard and Thane stepped out into the busy station, dozens and dozens of people filtering in from other ships. They were soon swept up in the crowd. Shepard was overwhelmed. The relief of arriving somewhere safe, truly safe, mixed with the noise and light was quickly becoming too much. She glanced back to Thane, who pressed a kiss to her temple. Over the noise of the crowd, she heard him gently say, “I believe we will meet again in another life, Siha.” 

She had no words for him as he slipped into the crowd, immediately disappearing among the moving bodies and bright clothing. She swallowed hard and pressed forward through the crowds, going to the signposted information desk. She would find Alliance officers there, though her mind wandered from this task even as she approached. Her throat was tight and her eyes watered, but she still smiled. She was thankful to Thane for helping her get so far, and she knew she would not forget him. Perhaps he was right; perhaps they would meet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read this little fic! I do have some ideas for a part two but I do like this ending and I won't be able to do a part two anytime soon anyway (yay for more university...) so I'll have a think about it. 
> 
> Again, thank you for reading and thank you for the wonderful comments ^^


End file.
